insomnia and depression

You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book. Psalm 56:8 (The Message)

I have a friend plagued by insomnia, Jehovah-Jireh, Lord of all provision. He's seen all the doctors and had all the tests; nothing is working. The nights stretch out before him and the darkness is heavy in his eyes. His family is discouraged and I know that they feel the fear of the unknown. What can he do but wait?

I don't think the battle belongs to Kevin, Lord. I see him positioned behind you, waiting on and praying for deliverance. There are forces arrayed against him, forces he cannot see and does not understand. You alone know this enemy.

Lead him through the long nights, God. Make your way straight before him. Keep his feet from stumbling, that he may walk before you again in the light of life.

for a runaway teenager

"Imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she'll call her friends and neighbors: 'Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!' Count on it—that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God." Luke 15:8-10 (The Message)

When I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:4-6 (New Living Translation)

I don't know what this young woman is struggling with, this one who has disappeared into the streets of an unforgiving city. I don't know what things in her have been broken, or what she suffers. I only know that she does suffer.

I don't like thinking of her as "lost" particularly, as if she somehow wandered off course or was treated negligently and mislaid. Rather, she ran away. I expect there may be anger and resentment, and an unwillingness to continue under the conditions in which she found herself. Maybe she thought anything was better than that. Maybe anything was.

So I find myself seeking words with which to make my request, El Shaddai, all-sufficient one, on behalf of this young woman who is the niece of my friend. I know you seek her, but I don't know if, like a coin, she waits passively to be found. Nonetheless, be close beside her with your biggest, scariest-looking staff -- keep the dogs at bay, and give her your protection. Find a way to feed her, even in the midst of her enemies. I beg blessings on her behalf, blessings she never expects, blessings to bring her life and sanctuary. Pursue her with your relentless love, your unfailing compassion. Every day, love her.

for an end to my awful mind cassettes

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:6-8 (New Living Translation)

Sometimes I sit up late at night obsessing. Running one bad tape over and over again in my mind. It doesn't help anything to go over this same ground; to keep replaying a mistake, or a bunch of mistakes. It doesn't help anything to keep worrying over the same fears, the same inadequacies, the same injuries, like a child who keeps poking at a bruise to see how much it hurts. Sometimes I think these bad mental cassette tapes are the exact opposite of prayer, the ultimate in fruitless labor.

Jesus, please guard my mind with your peace. Help me fix my thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

And help me ditch those awful, worn-out, peace-thieving cassettes.

waiting for you

I pray to God—my life a prayer—
and wait for what he'll say and do.
My soul waits for the Lord,
waiting and watching till morning,
waiting and watching till morning. Psalm 130:5-6

My friend Jen is tired and weary; you have always given her strength for the coming day. She is of anxious heart; you have always given her peace for the coming day. She faces struggle on every side; you have always kept her safe in trials. Her road is hidden; you have always marked the road for the coming day. Night surrounds her; you have always lightened the darkness. Though you may be silent now, you have always spoken when the time was ripe. Keep her in the shadow of your wings as she watches and waits for the morning.

It's a season of little peace for Jen and Fred. I thank you for sending them as you promised to do, and I ask your special blessing on them as they come. May their household be safely and expediently packed. May their children ride the wave of change in their world with your support. May this family find a place to house them here, and begin to find peace anew.

in thanksgiving for God's army of women

God will arise. His enemies will be scattered. Those who hate him will flee from him. Blow them away like smoke. Let wicked people melt in God’s presence like wax next to a fire. But let righteous people rejoice. Let them celebrate in God’s presence. Let them overflow with joy. Sing to God; make music to praise his name. Make a highway for him to ride through the deserts. The LORD is his name. Celebrate in his presence. The God who is in his holy dwelling place is the father of the fatherless and the defender of widows. God places lonely people in families. He leads prisoners out of prison into productive lives, but rebellious people must live in an unproductive land. O God, when you went in front of your people, when you marched through the desert, the earth quaked and the sky poured in the presence of the God of Sinai, in the presence of the God of Israel. You watered the land with plenty of rain, O God. You refreshed it when your land was exhausted. Your flock settled there. Out of your goodness, O God, you provided for oppressed people. The Lord gives instructions. The women who announce the good news are a large army. Psalm 68:1-11

Rise up, O God, and lead your people. We, the women whom you have called, stand ready to follow. May those who oppose you melt before your coming like wax before a fire. We will work to make ready the path before you, God of Sinai, God of provision; we will go wherever you lead. With our families, with celebration and praise, in times of plenty and times of exhaustion, where there is rain and where there is thirst, we will listen for your instruction and we will follow.

to establish my husband in righteousness

You will be established in righteousness. You will be far from oppression, so you will not be afraid. You will be far from destruction, so it won’t come near you. “If anyone attacks you, it will not be my doing. Whoever attacks you will be defeated by you. I’ve created blacksmiths to fan the coals into flames and to produce useful weapons. I’ve also created destroyers to bring destruction. No weapon that has been made to be used against you will succeed. You will have an answer for anyone who accuses you. This is the inheritance of the LORD’s servants. Their victory comes from me,” declares the LORD. Isaiah 54:14-17 (God's Word Translation)

Father, we live far from oppression as most of the world knows it. Our lives are awash in peace, paid at a price that we hardly know. Yet there are times we find ourselves under attack and know anger in the face of injustice. Continue to establish my husband in righteousness, and keep your church-yet-to-be from harm. May no weapon be formed to prevail against him who guides and guards the ones you miss the most. May my husband have an answer for all who accuse him, and the wisdom to find the path you make for him, for his inheritance and his victory is in you.

Expand the space of your tent. Stretch out the curtains of your tent, and don’t hold back. Lengthen your tent ropes, and drive in the tent pegs. You will spread out to the right and left. Your descendants will take over other nations, and they will resettle deserted cities. Don’t be afraid, because you won’t be put to shame. Don’t be discouraged, because you won’t be disgraced. Your defender is the Holy One of Israel. He is called the God of the whole earth. Isaiah 54:2-5